Not the American DREAM

I’ve got an idea. Instead of a fence in the South, let’s put a giant banner that says: “Welcome to America: Home of White Guilt, find yourself a high school and we’ll make you a citizen!” That is what America has become. I should rephrase. That is what America will become, if congress passes the DREAM act.

In case you haven’t heard of our new, American DREAM, let’s go over the basics, shall we?

If you are an illegal immigrant who:

1.) Entered the U.S. before the age of sixteen

2.) Have resided in the U.S. for at least five consecutive years

3.) have attained a high school diploma OR GED (in the U.S.)

and (because every single United States Congressional Act must have some absurdly vague loophole)

4.) be of “Good moral character”

You can receive “permanent resident status” IF you either:

1.) Complete two years in the armed forces


2.) Find yourself a nice little four year college and spend two years there

Now, I have long thought that one of the biggest problems for U.S. Immigration was that becoming a citizen was probably too difficult, but this is not the way to fix this. In a country whose high schools are already overcrowded, and whose colleges ALREADY deny perfectly better qualified students the right to enter college over a less qualified minority student, a bill which guarantees more crowded schools and more minorities applying for college is the last thing we need.

That last comment may have seemed a little racist, so let me be clear that I have no problem with as many minorities as are qualified entering college. My problem lies in the fact that they are somehow naturally more qualified because of the color of their skin. That is a kind of reverse racism which I think is disgusting.

Back to the DREAM. With illegal immigration in the sorry, uncontrolled state it already is, the DREAM can only make things worse. Picture this:

You send a Facebook invitation to all of your Facebook friends to a little house party at your house. After all, there’s SOME reason you’ve associated with these people so long, and it’s high time, in your opinion, that you see them and let them know they are appreciated. Still, you send the invitation hoping that only a few people will be able to accept.

Every one of your friends accepts the invitation.

Suddenly, it’s the day of the party, and you’re little home is filled with five hundred people, some of whom you barely know.

This is how I see the DREAM act playing out. Sure, it may aid some immigrants who truly are worthy of help and will make great American citizens. In the meantime, however, it creates EVEN MORE incentive for those who have not already crossed the border to do so. It will, by necessity, create a huge government bureaucracy to deal with these government programs, a bureaucracy which this American Government, which is already in the blinding, LED, blood still dripping from the wound red cannot possibly afford. And it will, most of all, welcome hundreds and thousands of illegal immigrants, some who might not even be of (GASP, dare I say it?) “Good moral character” to our country.

Now that’s not the American Dream I know about.



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